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Showing posts from February, 2014
This is a text conversation between me and a good friend. 
Yes it's awful. Yes it's embarrassing. When you first start out it really is. 
But there's only one first run. Get that awful, embarrassing run out of the way and you'll never have to do it again. 
I know. Because I was fat. And that first run was awful and embarrassing. 
Here I am though. With three half marathons behind me. With a strong, healthy body that carries me through days that start at 3.30 in the morning. And here I am with a wardrobe full of clothes I can fit. 
The Hutt News Fun Run is on in two weeks. Enter it. Walk it. Crawl it. Do it. 
It's where it all started for me. 
Here's the link...
Tick. Another half marathon done.  It's very hard to describe the dark, dark corner I go to with 1k to go.  It's a very, very, very cold, lonely place.  You would think that just 1 measly K to go would be motivation. But for me... It's awful. This is what plays over and over and over... "You can't do this. You can't do this. You can't do this".  And all I've got in reply is "finish this. Finish this. Finish this".  So. Tick. Another one done. 

Three years on...

Even my skin is shaking. My gums ache.  I think my teeth are about to shatter. 
This is what it's like on an anniversary.  364 days of not going there. 364 days of holding it in and putting a lid on it and carrying on. Ignorance is bliss. But now I feel like I am going to explode. Or melt. Or just stop. Cease. 
I'm writing this sitting in the car after getting the groceries. I have a boot full of food and a body full of pain. 

What's the point?

Well ... training for the Round The Bays Half didn't go to plan. We're a bit under cooked.  So we'll be nervous as anything come Sunday.  But already we have our sights on something else.  The Rotorua Half that we've signed up for? Nah.  We've got our sights on the big glass of cold beer and the bowl of chips at the end of the run on Sunday.  Cos that's the point right? To all of this. To taste a cold beer and salty chips after a hard run with that indiscribable feeling of finishing.  That's the point.

Look Down.

Keep your eyes on the prize. Stare down that goal.  Hold tight to the end result. 
You know what... Sometimes it's actually better to look down and not up.  Take your eyes OFF the prize. Because the prize can sometimes just feel so impossible and completely out of reach. 
I did that this morning. Facing another hill. I could see the top. It was too far. It was impossible. It was completely out of reach. The more I looked at the top the more I knew I couldn't do it. 
So I put my head down. I didn't look up. And I watched my feet. One foot after the other. The rhythm of running. One foot after the other. One foot after the other. The rhythm of running. One foot after the ... Wait.  I'm at the top.  Now I can look up.

You're missing out.

I poured this Post Run Pinot just before I headed out the door.  So when the run got tough.... And it did... I dreamed of my Post Run Pinot.  Home now... And it's still sitting there... Waiting.  I'll have my shower then wash down a big feed with it.  Some might say... Why not just pour the wine and skip the run bit? To that I would say... You clearly haven't tasted Post Run Pinot.  And ... You are missing out. 

How to save a life

It's a fine line. Such a fine line.  A fine line between running and not running.  A good night out and a bad night out.  A good decision and a bad decision.  Contentment and regret.  Virtue and guilt.  Life and death. 
It's a fine line for ALL of us.  None of us can claim to be perfect.  In fact, most if us would claim to be fragile, uncertain, tired, wanting. 
So... Who are we to judge? To not love, or forgive or have empathy?
Love. Forgiveness.  Empathy.  Without judgement. 
All things we can do for others to make their line thick enough to tread. You can actually do that for someone. You might even save their life. 
If you haven't already, I can guarantee that you'll cross your fine line one day too. And you of all people deserve to be saved. So do it for others. 

What it means to be needed.

It means that you will always turn up.
It means that you will never say no.
It means that you have a purpose.

If you are running by yourself ... find someone who needs you.

It's not about you needing someone ... it's about being needed.