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Showing posts from January, 2014
It's time. To run our own race.  Nicky is stronger and fitter and faster than me.  So on the long runs, we've decided that when we get to the point where our pace doesn't match up... It's time. To run our own race.  She has to go.  Because running my pace (slow) actually hurts her bones. Her hips ache and her tummy cramps.  Because running her race (fast) actually hurts my bones. My heart panics and pounds too fast and my legs seize up.  So. On those long runs, we will run our own race. 
But oh the mental anguish over separating.  She feels terrible that's she's leaving me. I feel terrible that I'm holding her back. 
And then finally we get clarity. 
It's good for us to run our race.  The point is... We get each other to the start. And isn't getting to the start actually when we need each other the most. 
We would never have got to the start on our own.
Me... 10 years ago. I am pretty lazy. My favourite thing? Doing nothing. Eating while doing nothing actually. I start a few things like diets or the gym. But they never last more than 6 days. No stickability. Happy to give up. Know my place in this world... A bit of clown and always last. 
Last night a friend said to me.. "We have different personalities. You're so determined and push yourself to better your self and I'm happy not to achieve and give up."
Yes. That's me. Right now that's me. I'm hungry for success at work. I'm dogged determined to be a faster runner. And I have real tenacity. I simply won't give up. 
But I wasn't always like this. I was lazy. I was fat. And I was happy to laugh that off. 
I just had no idea how capable I was. No idea. I had accepted that "determination", "strength","will", "success" were for those other people. The ones I envied. 
I just had no idea. Until I ran. 
On that firs…
"It's not the long road back that will change this heart. But the welcome I recieve with every start." I love that Mumford and Sons verse. 
It doesn't matter how many times you've started then stopped.  Just keep starting.  It will stick. One day it will stick.  Promise.

Boys don't talk.

Just ran with the boys. Them on their bikes and me puffing along next to them. 

They talked. Non. Stop. 
About the little stuff and the big stuff. About the stuff that they are loving at the moment and the stuff that is making them miserable. 
A lot of the stuff I had no idea about. 
When we're at home I'll ask them about their stuff and they look at me like I'm mental. They don't want to talk. They just want to do. They're boys. 
But when I get them on their bikes next to me... The floodgates open. The stories POUR out. 
I want it to be like this forever. For them to feel unlocked when we're running. Safe and happy to purge the stuff. 
So I gotta keep running. I gotta keep running. 

Yes. It. Does.

The Wednesday run is done. And I could not be happier. 
We're running the plan. And it feels good. We're doing what it says on our training plan and we're getting better. 
Last night, after 10ks out to the seaview marina and back around the streets of the Hutt and along the river home to Petone, I had a cold shower and I can not tell you how good it felt. 
My legs are still tingling!!! I feel alive. I feel vital. I feel strong. 
Get a plan. And run it. Today.
"You are part of a puzzle in someones life. You may never know where you fit. But, someones life may never be complete without you in it."
I read this and loved it. 
Now... Run. So that you can be a strong, happy, healthy part of their puzzle. And at the same time, make your puzzle's picture how it should be too. 

I forgot.

I had forgotten why I love being a runner. 
Chatting to a friend the other day she told me she was seriously considering just going for a run. The first run in her life. 
Oh and then I remembered. 
My life before running. 
The wishing I was. The hoping I could. The wanting to be that woman. That woman with her hair tied up and running strong. 
And all it took was one run. And I was her. 
I mustn't forget. I must not forget how good running is for me. And how good it is too me. My shoes always there ready to go ... Loyal and ready. Stinky ... And  loyal and ready. 
If it's been a while, go. 
If you've never gone, go.