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Best Run Ever

Best run ever.
And by "run" I mean "sitting on my bum hashing life out with my best friend in the whole world who if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be running and I can't believe she can't because she's busted her archilles".  That's what I mean by run.  We didn't.  But we did.
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Awake My Soul

Sometimes you just can't deny it. That there is more to this than this.  Out running this morning. So early. So cold. So new.  And I just couldn't deny it.  There is more to this than this.  Run.  Awake your soul. 

I want to tell you about my anxiety. About my crippling fear. I really want to. But I can't put that in to words just yet.  All I can say about it is this.  I've been scared of running.  Scared of running alone. 
That's why I haven't been running proper. My best friend in the whole world has busted her Achilles. She's in hell. Can you imagine? Not being able to run? 
And there I was. ABLE to run. But not running.  Gotta be the greatest insult ever. 
So I started running again. 
Wanna start running again?
Let's go.  Lace up. Hair up. Run.
This feeling. Right now. Know what I mean? You do right?
So why haven't you run???
This feeling. It's all yours. Waiting for you. 
AFTER the run. 

The Sucky 5k.

A half marathon is 21ks. 21!! And I've done HEAPS.

So why why why is 5k so hard??

It's cos of this...

If your brain knows you're doing 21ks ... it will set everything in your body to run 21ks.
If your brain knows you're doing 5ks ... it will set everything in your body to run 5ks.

And as you know, the first 2ks of every run SUCKS and the last 2ks of every run SUCKS.

So that's 4 SUCKY ks out of 5.

That's why.

Nothing for it, but to suck up the suckyness and Run.

I just ran. I put my shoes on at 12.30.  And now I'm home. It's 1.30. 
In that time I could've  - sat on the couch - buried myself in Facebook  - made toast - thought about going for a run
But I just ran. 
It's a pretty overwhelming feeling writing in this blog again. Friend you've gotta know... I've tried so hard to write so many times ... But there were just no words. I'm very very sorry.  I think I'm going to cry.  I don't want to though. 
So I'm going to do one of the above.  Um... Make toast.  I've earned it. 
Good to be back.